I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
