If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
