well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
