Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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