How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Is Oprah even human
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
