someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize