i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
