Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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