You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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