if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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