the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
