We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
