Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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