Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You took a bar mat shot.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
