Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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