Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
