So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
