I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
