You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
