we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
