Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize