There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
