Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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