Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
