I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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