I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
