i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
