I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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