please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
