He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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