i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
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