guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
