Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
