Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
