So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
