I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
where does the pee come out of this thing
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
