I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
