if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize