my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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