how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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