Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
