Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
