'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
