she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
