he wants to bone in the snuggie
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
