I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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