I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
