If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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