i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize