The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
