I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
