return my video game
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
