Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
