I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize