dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
