i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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