I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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