There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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