why didn't you poke me back
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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