I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize