accomplished twins. life is a go
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
