I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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