Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
