The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
