Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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